Friday, December 31, 2010

2010 -bye !

A note of thanks for a all the special people who've loved me....made me feel special ... changed me (for the good) ....and who stood by me .. believed in me ..


1. Mom and Dad . thanks for all that you did ...and you will do ...this year a lot of things happened and i realized how much u both mean to me ...how much i mean to you ... and thanks for always believing in me ..for understanding for standing by my side .

2. my ex-boyfriend and the friend i found in you .thanks for being there and for all the beautiful moments we shared. ! p.s i still love you . (even more)

3. A friend who is more than friend -a sister..who is always there for me... understood me when no one did and always loved me thanks for bearing me all through these 14 years .. i hope we'll always remain best of friends.

4. A friend who is there for me even in the darkest hour ...who listen to all the stupid things i say when i am drunk ...some one i can call at 4 am just like that . some one who was there when i was in a big trouble ... the one with whom i got my tattoo done..some with whom i smoked hookah for the first time..with whom i hangout most of the time ..thank you - everything u do is acknowledged !

5. A friend ....who sneaks me beer cans though he doesn't even touch alcohol .... who solves most of my problems ...and some one who really believes in me and trusts me and would never give up on me- thanks a lot !

6. All my blogger friends ... who read my posts and comment .... you always encourage me . thank you all for your love and support.

7. My new found college friends ... thanks for being my friend ... and let me tell you , you have beard me at my worst when for what ever reasons i was not the person i am ..when i was upset for reasons you don't even have an idea of- thank you

8. Vodafone 89 message pack ..... you help me overcome my sadness and loneliness...thanks for the unlimited texting and ruining my studies .

9. Shakespeare .. who recently got associated with my blog (ARIEL - the kind spirit in one of his plays , The tempest to be precise)

10.MOTOROLA v3i my first phone ...for storing all those beautiful memories .... for being there with me in my loneliest hours ... when all i had was you and the beautiful songs i stored in you !
thanks for being the best companion !

11. All the people who've hated me ,belittled me, criticized me ...thank you for letting me know the kind of person i don't want to be .. !

LAST but not the least SAI BABA ... thanks for all the strength ..this was one hell of a year . thanks helping me cope up with the stress .

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Through the broken panes she tries to see
she has reasons
and knows what it means to be free
for her thats the only way to be

dreams lead her life
some reality too
her brain and heart torn by a strife
to strike a balance for her is a drive

sometimes she thinks she should let go
but then she asks why ?
its her choice not to go with the flow
not her business to think if it gives people a blow !

Thursday, October 28, 2010

numbness i feel.
may be I've been out in the cold for a long time
searching for the light , which could provide me with warmth

Now the search has ended , for now i have lost the ability to feel.

and yes i can see . its still cold .


Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Before i turn 18

before i turn 18
A note of Apology...

From the past few days I’ve been thinking ……about a lot of things...and a lot of people and I realized that I have been rude , bad ,sarcastic and I hurt a lot people sometimes intentionally some times unintentionally …..

I sincerely would like to apologize to all the people whom I have hurt….intentionally / unintentionally especially the one’s I love or I loved..Or I don’t love …..

I never wanted to …but sometimes am not able to handle certain situations and I can be a little troublesome….

I hope at least some of them read this and should know that I realize – that I have made some mistakes ..i have hurt a lot people and I have been a real bad girl (not all the time though !)

I know those words can’t be taken back or those deeds can’t be undone but yes I can be forgiven for now I realize my mistakes…..

So this was the best time to say that am Sorry and also - that yes i truly care ! ... tomorrow is my 18th BIRTHDAY after all …J .. !


P.S - Other birthday special posts will be coming up soon !



Monday, September 13, 2010

DARKNESS

FOR The Thursday poets rally week 30 hosted by jingle .. !


DARKNESS


The darkness within the darkness
A darkness in which i find easier
to find myself.......
and much easier too loose
what does not belong to me -
the things i hold on to .
it helps me to set my soul free
it redefines ..
unleashes the passion with in me
it gives me strength to take-off
the MASKS i wear ,
-A thousand masks ..
for no one can see me ..
i cannot see myself....
a strange comfort i find
in the anonymity ..
a sense of security is there
and the pain,
my pain, it passes into nothingness;
a beauty blinding or an ugliness unbearable
nothing matters ...
and nothing has a new meaning ..
only what is seen is the latent truth
which was hidden deep inside the layers..
Its gateway to an understanding
to an open minded impartiality.
for its the DARK,
and no one can see no one
no one is afraid
and the DARK is not just a darkness
its a gateway to a new understanding...!

................VIDDHI ARORA




Monday, August 23, 2010

life......


LIFE ~ on the other side of town...!

And here it begins ….. CHANDNI CHOWK …… practically not the other side of town ….thanks to Delhi metro ….now all it takes is 22 minutes….but yes there was a time when it took hours to reach there ….

So yes I went to chandni chowk for the first time……. It is one of the oldest and grandest markets in Delhi …. (No wonder it is called OLD DELHI) ….. And it’s a wonderful place ….it was built somewhere around in 1650’s... Yes the Mughal period ….and it was designed by Shahajahan’s daughter … Jahanahara Begum sahib.

The small dingy ill lit lanes...Super crowded street … it has temples .. Masjids …. gurudwaras … Big branded showrooms to small shacks……. from oldies to small kids …dirty rich business mans in big cars to thella walas …..People..more people…and people from all walks of life…and you practically find everything there…. Jewelery ..shoes …beautiful fancy saris ..glass bangles ….food…



things which is hard too find in today’s modern times and one thing particularly drew my attention and that was “parandis”…….

Damn! Where do you find parandis these days and there was a shop loaded with them…..colorful and beautiful .. J


And the architecture..Gawwwwd ..its amazing …old old and super old buildings …..Narrow lanes with shops stuffed on both sides…old havelis ….small shops big showrooms constructed probably during Shahajahan’s reign …..the fatehpuri masjid …Gauri Shankar temple… Gurudwara sis ganj …..and the town hall ..and what not …. Amazing …. Amazing … I have no words ….. ahhhhh..!!!!


And you know one thing about that seriously amazes me is that though the this place was constructed long ago …it still is alive…..when you go there .. see people running…. for what- I don’t know …every one’s in a hurry … I stood still and observed …. It was like every one was moving except for me as if I was not a part of that hustle bustle …I was a mere spectator ….not part of the RACE….. it was a very strange soothing feeling …observing people ..observing life…and when you actually see people you realize ..everyone’s fighting their own fight…with situations ..with life..they all have something in common….a feeling…a similar PAIN.. it’s all together a different feeling ….it makes me realize that there’s soo much in life that I haven’t seen … world is soo big …..it makes me happy….



Ohh…. I forgot to mention the SWEETS…… jalebi…imarti ..kulfi faluda……chandni chowk is famous for sweets…..YUMMMMYYYYYYY…….!!!!!!!!!


And yes at last the chandni chowk metro station….gawwwwdd….it is crowded as much as the market is…..long queue to get inside….. !!



tireddddddddd ..........heeheeee ! ... :)




Monday, August 16, 2010

BLAH_blah_BlAh !!

At times i think theres nothing to worry about ....at the other points it seems life is going in a hellish way ....

can things be more complicated.. ??

moving back and forth between doubt and faith ...i wish i could be more clear about the things .. a lot of things in life are changing practically everything ..perhaps too fast ....i am not able to deal with it ... right now i really need to have that sense of certainty ...but ..am messed up .... i don't know .... i don't have much to say :(

i feel lonely and sad ... i want to say a lot of things but somehow am not able to express....!

am waiting for things to change ...hoping too hard and somehow now i feel it is taking a toll on my sanity . i think i need to relax .. !

i hope tonight is a "good night"..!







Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Memory of a rose ..

some more poets rally and other blogger awards ... :)


by jingle ... thank you !

MEMORY OF A ROSE


Color of the rose changes ..
Red pink yellow...
all to dried brown one day ..
some got crushed ....
some got plucked ...
some just withered away with time
a strange nothingness remains
that reminds of the beauty
it once possessed
sweet smell that dissolutes
from reality and the cruelty
befallen upon the delicate being
of how it was crushed and plucked
the unsaid , unheard pain
but nature's rule it is ..
and they are meant to be
to give happiness when needed
to dissolute when in pain
to be everything when alive
and something yet nothing
after they have died .. !


...VIDDHI ARORA






Friday, June 25, 2010

SO , FINALLY !

official announcement~




~*V*~



is no longer just a "POETRY" blog ......

it will now have bits from my life ....bits of my imagination....bits of my thoughts .......

the change has been made in order to keep the blog alive ..since now i don't post all of my poetry ....and the need to be a li'l more expressive as some of my freinds complain ..... so here it is .....

~*V*~


so finally, changed...

the new, the better... :)


hopefully ... !


...........viddhi arora





Monday, June 14, 2010

THE ENDLESS WAIT...

THE ENDLESS WAIT...

Dark wintry night
too foggy outside
still she went
to the river bank....

Every night she awaits
his return...
or just a piece of word from him....
at very same place where he left her..
with promises of his return
she waits , she waits till the midnight..
till the time her lamps burn out
till the time her hopes die..
and then she goes back
with her heart full of pain
she stays up all night
remembering the old times
sitting in an empty room
where only her
longing to feel love lurks
loved by him ...
sometimes she cries
all the time she hides
her feelings and her true desires
she smiles through her pain
she smiles through her tears
she smiles and she laughs
as if nothing's wrong
all day long
for the one's she loves
and for the one's who love her
and as the night approaches
she revives her hope and
rekindle the fire...
and gathers all her
courage and strength
to go to the bank again
and go through the same old pain

Sometimes he sends a letter
some love wrapped in it
but somehow a strange pain
she feels ...
in the words of the letter sent
not her own
but of the one she loves
she tries to find
tries to search the reasons
of this never ending pain
but the search is always futile
because he is far far away ..thousands of mile..
sometimes all she wants to do is hold him tight
take all the pain away
sometimes she feels she lacks somewhere
and she feels he completes her
and for now and forever
all she wants is his happiness....


...........VIDDHI ARORA

Thursday, May 13, 2010

just not my fairytale

AWARDS BY KARAN A ,THOUSIF AND JINGLE here ...thnx guys ... !
AWARDS BY JINGLE FOR POETS RALLY~ HERE
..thnx :)

just not my fairytale


All this while i was with you
i know you were not true
and the n we both through
because the relation we had it failed
but in my heart i knew it wasn't my fairytale
because when i was in the dark
it lost its spark
and it was the time to see
how strong it was
and came to know it was weakest of all
because it withered away with a blow of wind
and i came to know it was a mistake
it was just not my fairytale

.....VIDDHI ARORA

Thursday, May 6, 2010

AS I LAY DIEING~


AWARDS BY JINGLE AND WORDWAND ... thnx alot guys ... here
(for poets rally)



AS I LAY DIEING~
As i lay dieing
Four feet under the ground..
trying to grasp a piece of breadth
My hands shivering
searching for a clue
for some lost meanings

As i lay dieing
Four feet under the ground
All i could find is darkness
see is darkness
feel is darkness
and all i could think of
is the sinful night
when i agreed to be devil's bride
he casted an evil spell
instantly with him in love i fell
Not realizing that i was just a prey
caught by his sinister sight

As i lay dieing
four feet under the ground
madly in love with him
A love so true
In my heart i knew
My fairytale it was meant to be
but i knew nothing of
his devilish desires
and without thinking
i stepped into the fire
fire big enough to
burn me whole
engulf even deepest of my desire
My dreams my final destination
were supposed to be
Not this graveyard
where i lay dieing
four feet under the ground
searching what all this
was meant to be
trying to figure out
my feelings ...
what i lost and what i gained..
but all i find is
this strange emptiness
this darkness
AS i lay dieing
four feet under the ground

...VIDDHI ARORA

Thursday, April 29, 2010

so much like love.....

(for the thursaday poets rally.....)

so much like love.....

I cannot leave you

Because I don’t hold the

Best of you …..

I cannot take you

Because I don’t take the

Rest of you …….

But somewhere I know

In some parts of my heart

We are one

But somewhere am

Scared too …..

I might have

Misread your mind …

May be your not

All mine …

I peered so into everything

That was yours ……

To search you out

Who are you..

In your heart….

You seem so good

too good to be true

and I believe you ..

and this Is what

scares me the most

when I think about you

I get lost …

And I cannot sleep …

I wish you could peep

Inside my heart

But it’s an art ..

And I don’t know whether

You are skilled or not …

This feeling is strange

But so much like love it is ...

I don’t know what you feel

How you feel …..

Sometimes I wonder

Would you be there..

Till the very end???

The question lingers in my mind ..

Day and night ..

Whose answer am not able to find..!!


.......VIDDHI ARORA

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Untitled ....so random

from where it comes ...
to what extent it can go ...
i don't know...
this emptiness
this vacuum
and the gloom
i try dealing
with this feeling
but it never leaves
and love bereave
i stand here alone
feeling forlorn
i try to run
i try to escape
this dark despair...
delved in the depth inside
i realize how
shallow is the world outside
it scares me ...
for i have no one besides me
to hold me when i fall
all by myself i fight this battle
of strange people
of cruelty and injustice
i fight with my fears
deep inside i fight
with my insecurities
i fight with the one's i love
i fight for my dreams
i fight for myself
often i talk about
an undefined pain ......
pain ...my pain
unexplainable
born out of my despair
and the feeling
of being unloved
of being cheated on..
of expectations forced
upon me
time goes on ..
but the pain
refuses to fade..
refuses to go away....
.............VIDDHI ARORA









MY world...

MY world...



Almost ignoring real living
i live unconscious of stimulation
to a different world belongs my dwelling
this is not my world
not my place
though it has a pretty face
but it is not dear to me as my own
which is known to some
far beyond the oceans
under the same old blue sky
where my desires are
not afraid to fly
where my young dreams breath
where the darkness of the night
transforms my warmth into intensity
and the light of morning sun
fuels my passion
where me and my loneliness resides
which gives me strength to carry on
when that deep pain inside
takes hold of me
when my emotions controls me
when even a little pin prick hurts
MY WORLD ..it's in my dreams
in my reality
in the little birds chirping
in the squirrels playing
It is all around me
it is inside of me
yet it is far away
but why people ..they cannot see
they cannot feel
the way i do
why they say it is an illusion
of my imagination and reality
it is a fusion
they question its existence
they question my existence
for it belongs to me
its a part of me ...
they say am different
they ask questions
but my answers ..
they never satisfy...
now and forever I've
sealed my lips
for now i have no explanations
for their questions

...VIDDHI ARORA

Sunday, April 4, 2010

birth of a bright day

I stay awake all night ,
and admire the beautiful moonlight.


The moon, it looks like a dream ,
just above the translucent blue stream .


companion of lonely hearts,
and a handful of stars.


The vast expanse of deep core blue,
awaits the spread of sun's red and golden hue .


and then just above the horizon sun rose,
with all the new hopes ,
with all the positivity and nothing to loath...


This is my beautiful morn ,
and this is how my bright day is born.

..............VIDDHI ARORA


untitled

A warm embrace ,
A passionate kiss
something that nobody wants to miss ,
A touch so different ,
a sensation that could awake
a thousand more senses
such is the true love
so cheerful so live
to insanity it can drive
no limits no boundaries
a night of lights
so wild so free
some teasing some caressing
and then taking to bed
to make love is what he said
more about heart and soul
less to do with body and mind
and soon you find
you din't realize
when love metaphorized into lust
All the feelings all the emotions
nothing but a strange desperation
The warm embrace turns
into a cold war of bodies
you give yourself whole
expecting love and honesty
but all you get is ignorance
and fallacy
and as the sun rise you try to
find him by your side
but all you find is
emptiness and betrayal
The touch the kiss
hugging and teasing
awakens your senses
No love but a feeling
of dirt , emptiness , impurity
and the realization
that making love was just having sex
is all that flourishes
It's love .....LOVE that has
the power to make you whore ...
....VIDDHI ARORA >.



Friday, January 1, 2010

THIS IS LIFE



Deepest of deep in my heart
fighting a fight
over whats wrong and whats right
my soul is torn into two
no matter whoever wins
eternal loss is mine .....

One is the one
hopelessly in love
Dreamer of dreams
sleeps at night
and dreams in day time

Other is the one
who has seen the world
faced the harsh realities
has fought has bruised
and has been hurt

In spite of all this
other still chirps and flirts
and knows no boundaries
only the depth of feelings
and is not afraid to dream
at night sees the stars and smiles
feels the breeze and blushes

But the other is always scared
scared of the darkness
scared of the night
for it brings with itself
a strange loneliness
so cold so dry
at this time the heart
longs for warmth of love inside
but it cannot forget
how cruel is the world outside ...
because it has been hurt
not once but twice
it wants to save the other
from breaking falling
and getting hurt and destroyed.

There was a time
they both were one
It was before i opened my eyes
before i saw the world
but they are far apart
one lives in reality
in this world
the other has created its own
the distances between
me and me stirs me
creates a havoc
a turmoil of emotions
inside of me
but still it cannot forget
that this is life
it must go on
for its a journey
never waits for anyone
now my dreams are not my destination
but a bitter reality
and i know am strong enough
to deal with it
to fight with it
and move on with it ...




..............VIDDHI ARORA