AWARDS BY JINGLE AND WORDWAND ... thnx alot guys ... here
(for poets rally)
AS I LAY DIEING~
As i lay dieing
Four feet under the ground..
trying to grasp a piece of breadth
My hands shivering
searching for a clue
for some lost meanings
As i lay dieing
Four feet under the ground
All i could find is darkness
see is darkness
feel is darkness
and all i could think of
is the sinful night
when i agreed to be devil's bride
he casted an evil spell
instantly with him in love i fell
Not realizing that i was just a prey
caught by his sinister sight
As i lay dieing
four feet under the ground
madly in love with him
A love so true
In my heart i knew
My fairytale it was meant to be
but i knew nothing of
his devilish desires
and without thinking
i stepped into the fire
fire big enough to
burn me whole
engulf even deepest of my desire
My dreams my final destination
were supposed to be
Not this graveyard
where i lay dieing
four feet under the ground
searching what all this
was meant to be
trying to figure out
my feelings ...
what i lost and what i gained..
but all i find is
this strange emptiness
this darkness
AS i lay dieing
four feet under the ground
...VIDDHI ARORA
28 comments:
This is deep and powerful.
Oh, there are some moments in the poem that blows me away [four feet under the ground!!!:P] ....honestly, that was soo dark and sad... but that what makes this poem blowin' and fantastic... i'm deeply moved...!!!:)
Good day!!!:)
>Kelvin
Using four feet under the ground was a really good touch. I like the various messages that you have meticulously embedded in this poem. We never realize what our undoings were until it is too late. The moment truth is mostly the moment that opens our eyes to all the truths that we had shrouded ourselves from. Hmm.. I could speak at length analyzing the lines, but I think I shouldn't do that. Let me keep the lines within me and ponder for a while. Yes, that is what I am going to do. A really nice piece that I thoroughly enjoyed reading and visualizing.
Have a wonderful day.
dark and deep write... your emotions so well expressed...
well written.
Awesum as always !!!
Nothing more to say !!!
words are always less to describe the beauty in ur poems !!!
Happy Blogging !!
Tk Cr !!!
whew...love the intesity beneath the surface. smiles.
very beautiful and powerful writing!
have fun!
Please feel free to visit 12 poets in my list that are NEW to you,
make sure visit those back when they give you comments here...
thank you for playing!
yes, write that loneliness out! but do remember to smile in the sun sometimes as well, for balance.
http://mairmusic.wordpress.com/
Sounds like an all-encompassing relationship; alas not one laid in gold. Powerful images. Teensy critique; I would try and break up the last stanza a bit to give the poem a better visual flow. I love the opening poem to your blog by the way. Amazing entry to YOU.
the words flow and you have awesome context. But what really struck me was how the actual layout of the words lined up. art inside of art.
-bryan
If somebody is able to make the reader visualize what you wrote, the feelings, the expressions...it is among the best creations. I could visualize it... fantastic expressions!
It is a very touching and emotional poem... :) wonderful!!!
you are a beautiful writer and your words are vivid. I am so glad I found your blog.
btw... I absolutely LOVE the background here. It is so..... mmmmm.... perfect. For a writer I am at a loss of words too much, but I think perfect sums it up well.
really excellent poem....four feet under the ground..mentioned by many & for a damn good reason...loved it
@ anthonynorth .. thnx a lot.. ! :)
@ WINDOWLAD... thnx ....thnx alot . u too have a good day ... !
@ Vittal ... well yeah the interpretation is quite right .thnx fr the visit....and thnx fr appreciating.. ! :)
@ Rajlakshmi .. thnx alot .... thnx fr the visit hope to see more of you here..! :)
@ Ankit .. thnx bhaiya...ur words are really encouraging ... :)
thnx fr ur valuable feedback .. ! :)
@ Brian ..thnx thnx alot ..
@ ji.. thnx....thnx fr appreciating ... and yeah already done that ! :)
@ mairmusic ... smiles and tears are a part of life... nothing i can miss out on ... thnx fr the visit hope to see more of u here... !
@ kkrige ..thnx ....ur feed back is valuable ..thnx fr the visit.. hope to see more of u here...
@ Bryan ...thnx alot ... ! ..thnx ..:)
@ karan ..thnx alot .. !
@ ishabellemanalo..thnx :)
@ Tara ..thnx alot .. thnx for the visit.. ! :)
@ petemarshall1...thnx :)
Wow...what a great tribute to Him. I hope you find a way of replacing the loneliness...cheers!
Nice Poem.. :)
Very deep.. *at least four feet* :P
All three poems above are fabulous. you have portrayed the sadness of missing someone very perfectly and touchingly.
lovely poem.
@lordemmanuel ...thanx... !
@ Arpit....thnx alot ... !
p.s ur next post is awaited .:)
@ suryagni ... thnx alot ... thnx for liking ... welcome to my blog .. hope to see more of u here.. !
i loooooooooved it.... the best i have read till now.... its great viddhi... absolutely amazing yaar... superbbbbbbbbbb..... :)
take care and keep writing........
I could not find the comment button initially...
This is such a powerful poem, Viddhi...
Well done.
Mine is here
Happy Sensational Wednesday!
hugs
shakira
@thousif .......thanx .... thnx alot .. ! :)
@ shakira .... thnx alot ...! :)
beautiful, very beautiful, it struck a chord! :)
Post a Comment