Nameless-nothing

"mysterious overmastering is the power of fate,

From this, nor wealth nor force of arms

nor strong encircling city walls

nor storm tossed ship can give deliverance ."

-Sophocles (Antigone)

I am scared, not because am incapable but because so much is in destiny's hand.

Life and times change you. You start believing in things you never did.

But i know destiny and hard work go hand in hand ,

because its real life not a Greek tragedy!

on a happier NOTE :-

Here's my tattoo , in public for the first time , Since both my parents now know about it.(I told mom the same day i got it done. I told dad that its temporary. Since a lot of time has passed and it did not go away so dad is now used to it. He has resigned to the fact that his girl is a li'l out of control :P)

i got it done one 3rd December 2010

In the process.

First look.

After 2 days.

i really like it. Its simple and suave.

i thought of those Celtic art and anagrams and stuff ..did a lot research too but in the i know i wanted something that wouldn't look foolish when i grow old. something that doesn't match my personality. This fits the bill. hope you guys like it too.

Dairy entry post :-D

YUPPYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY YUPPPYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

viddhi dances the exam over dance yey!! :-D

finally over.

much relieved and happy.

i went to Nizams,C.p... today for a friends pending birthday Treat.

i still think khan chacha is better.

came home ..met more friends....

tomorow i meet Prerna , Arpit and Ayush.

Me and Ayush are friends again .

i thought i was being overly prejudiced and i realized my vanity needs a check sometimes.

i will loose weight and read more in the days to come. write more too.

From tomorrow i will start jogging, not WALKING, jogging.

thats all for now bi !

good night.

generally.

GENERALLY THINKING ....

Whatever happens happens for a reason. Is it always like that ?

Can't somethings happen just like that ?

can't we just grow over them . Forget them ?

Just let them go .

And pretend it never happened .

Is God going to teach me another lesson ?

or a deep desire , a dream , a wish is going to come true ?

I don't want a lesson i've had plenty.

I am a changed young woman.(can he *God*see?)

I just want some wishes to come true.

P.S:- i will post something better soon.

because i find it hard to understand myself

my pc's not working ....my first post from my phone.....

I don't understand what is happening to me. I am clueless.
I feel miserably sad i dont have a reason to be happy.
i feel lonely i feel like talking to someone ...hence this post.
I am miserably in love with my ex .. I want him back..he says he still loves me sometimes when he's drunk..we are very good frnds..i never asked him if he really means it when hes sober..i dnt want to loose him..but i sometimes feel i should get over it.. But i want him .... I feel trapped..i dont find a way out.

I have a frnd my childhood best frnd ...shes like a younger sister to me..i know everything about her but she doesnt ...now i dont like the idea ..it looks as if i am hiding my real self ..but theres so much i dont know how to tell her.... She'll be mad at me ... Or i dnt knw how is she going to react ...it was just that she was always busy with her own problems ..she always had her own issues..i did not wnt to burden her with mine.... i dnt know whether ill be telling her or not. I cannot decide.

I have an exam tomm...m really worried what m going to do..i cant sleep with all this shit going on in my head

I am missing my ex...i know he doesn't really care

I feel like drinking alcohol sleeping and not waking morow in the morn

I sometimes feel scared ..i might became an alcoholic

Sometimes i feel like running away from all this
I doubt even after getting all this will i be happy ? Or even running away will? i dont know.

I sometimes think i am running after tthings for no reasons. I want a migration from my college to another...for that a higher percentage...i am overstressing myself ...

I wish people loved me and care about me the way i want them to.....

But sometimes am just glad that they love me...

No matter how much i grow up ...i will always be a mummas girl. I still hug her and tell her that i love you three times a day ..
She's the best .

I wish i could care less , think less and be more forgiving and let go of things easily.. I wish i sulked less.

I sometimes dont like myself. Sometimes i really like myself. I sometimes like to act like a bitch but i genuinely believe am a nice girl.

I have a tattoo just below my nape ..it says BELIEVE..its simple its beautiful ...i love it.
I wish i did not suck at saying thank you.

I wish i could love people ...some people whom i ought to love ...inspite of all that they did to me or i think they did to me.

life......

LIFE ~ on the other side of town...!

And here it begins ….. CHANDNI CHOWK …… practically not the other side of town ….thanks to Delhi metro ….now all it takes is 22 minutes….but yes there was a time when it took hours to reach there ….

So yes I went to chandni chowk for the first time……. It is one of the oldest and grandest markets in Delhi …. (No wonder it is called OLD DELHI) ….. And it’s a wonderful place ….it was built somewhere around in 1650’s... Yes the Mughal period ….and it was designed by Shahajahan’s daughter … Jahanahara Begum sahib.

The small dingy ill lit lanes...Super crowded street … it has temples .. Masjids …. gurudwaras … Big branded showrooms to small shacks……. from oldies to small kids …dirty rich business mans in big cars to thella walas …..People..more people…and people from all walks of life…and you practically find everything there…. Jewelery ..shoes …beautiful fancy saris ..glass bangles ….food…

things which is hard too find in today’s modern times and one thing particularly drew my attention and that was “parandis”…….

Damn! Where do you find parandis these days and there was a shop loaded with them…..colorful and beautiful .. J

And the architecture..Gawwwwd ..its amazing …old old and super old buildings …..Narrow lanes with shops stuffed on both sides…old havelis ….small shops big showrooms constructed probably during Shahajahan’s reign …..the fatehpuri masjid …Gauri Shankar temple… Gurudwara sis ganj …..and the town hall ..and what not …. Amazing …. Amazing … I have no words ….. ahhhhh..!!!!

And you know one thing about that seriously amazes me is that though the this place was constructed long ago …it still is alive…..when you go there .. see people running…. for what- I don’t know …every one’s in a hurry … I stood still and observed …. It was like every one was moving except for me as if I was not a part of that hustle bustle …I was a mere spectator ….not part of the RACE….. it was a very strange soothing feeling …observing people ..observing life…and when you actually see people you realize ..everyone’s fighting their own fight…with situations ..with life..they all have something in common….a feeling…a similar PAIN.. it’s all together a different feeling ….it makes me realize that there’s soo much in life that I haven’t seen … world is soo big …..it makes me happy….

Ohh…. I forgot to mention the SWEETS…… jalebi…imarti ..kulfi faluda……chandni chowk is famous for sweets…..YUMMMMYYYYYYY…….!!!!!!!!!

And yes at last the chandni chowk metro station….gawwwwdd….it is crowded as much as the market is…..long queue to get inside….. !!

tireddddddddd ..........heeheeee ! ... :)

BLAH_blah_BlAh !!

At times i think theres nothing to worry about ....at the other points it seems life is going in a hellish way ....

can things be more complicated.. ??

moving back and forth between doubt and faith ...i wish i could be more clear about the things .. a lot of things in life are changing practically everything ..perhaps too fast ....i am not able to deal with it ... right now i really need to have that sense of certainty ...but ..am messed up .... i don't know .... i don't have much to say :(

i feel lonely and sad ... i want to say a lot of things but somehow am not able to express....!

am waiting for things to change ...hoping too hard and somehow now i feel it is taking a toll on my sanity . i think i need to relax .. !

i hope tonight is a "good night"..!